Saturday, February 19, 2011

conquering your fears

I have always been cautious about things...I like to research and be assured things are "safe" before I do them. I also am highly competitive so "trying" things that I perceive I won't be the best at isn't really my style. I'm also a worrier. Not that any of this surprises anyone. It is a constant battle Satan plays with me, I know it, but still many times he gets the best of me. I decided after this last trip it might be worth reviewing a few things I am fearful of..

white water rafting..we went to Canada a few years back and I was part of a white water rafting experience. let's just say while I survived it wouldn't be the first thing I'd run back to do. Believe the guide when they tell you the water is arctic cold and will paralyze your throat if you swallow it. note to self, sit behind larger people as they block the wall of water that comes at you. Do not sit in front of boat, do not wear contact lenses even if you are blind like I am. I can check it off the bucket list though..

I hate boats. I get motion sickness and I can think of nothing worse than being stuck on a boat. The thought of a cruise terrifies me.

I also hate small spaces. I can convince myself that an elevator is too small sometimes.

I am afraid of heights. I'm OK flying since we fly so often, but I don't like watching from the window down, I usually draw the shade if i have a window seat.

I don't like riding jet skis behind my precious hubby at 60miles an hour on choppy water.

I love animals, but prefer to touch them at Sea World where they do not have their parts intact. In Cayman, the big thing is to go to Stingray Island and pet the stingrays. As you will see I did venture out and touch the stingrays, but the motivating factor was the anchored boat which was rocking so bad back and forth it was sickening. This was an experience like no other, these things come at you like sharks in the water. Frightening! The men seemed much braver for some reason, check out my hubby, the stingrays get excited and flop all over you...I had the guide hold the stingray. Yes, they feel like a squishy mushroom.

Snorkeling - we hadn't done this since our honeymoon 18 years ago. We started at the beach and the reefs and fish were amazing. At the beach all I could hear was my breathing, sounded like Darth Vader. Then out in open water which was even better. I learned that a lifejacket makes the experience so much better. I have new appreciation for the swimming skills my kids have. I learned that as much as I run and workout, I have no swimming skills.

But, there is value in conquering your fears. I am fearful of a lot with Parker and all my kids. What I learned was even though my heart was racing and so was my mind, "what happens if i get stung? what happens if I drown? worse, what happens if I die?" that as I continued to pray and repeat "God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind.." once I relaxed and completed the task it didn't seem so frightening. People always say the fear of the unknown is the worst. Once you have experienced something it doesn't seem so bad.

So, what is the point of all this? I guess it is a reminder for me, life was scary when we learned of Parker's dx and of course his heart surgery. Today while lots of things are unknown and still scary, I have learned that God's grace gets us through.

The fact that I posted pictures of me in a swimsuit is terrifying too, hoping everyone can see past that and the beauty of God's creation! XO

"Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:29-30 (MSG)

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