6 years and 5 months!

wow, I have seriously been "MIA" on the blog..my apologies, seems like we are on fast forward these days without a minute to breathe! Swim meets, trips to see Miley Cyrus, baseball, choir, Dr visits...the list is too long! This is a big week in the Font household, one that we thought would look very different a few weeks ago! We thought we would still be in recovery from surgery, but we are happy to have the gift of more time to enjoy Parker and time together without that worry!!! Madeline our "baby" turned 6 yesterday with the party to come Sunday afternoon with her friends. She had a great day and celebration at school and is looking forward to her party! She is no longer the baby, but a little girl with a BIG personality who loves life and has a passion for singing, dancing, swimming, acting, reading and basically anything she does!

Today, Parker is 5 months old! Where did the time go? He has come so far and so have we. The smiles and laughs are given freely and often and he has become quite the "chatterbox." He continues to be quite the "mover and shaker". He rolls everywhere and his new trick this week is to start to "reach" and pull his legs under to crawl when on his stomach. If you turn your back for a moment he's turned completely around and can be found in a different spot on his play mat. This week we used the tray for the Bumbo for the first time and put cheerios on it. What fun that was! He has no teeth, but he is really good at "mashing" and enjoyed the cheerios. My guess is he won't be long for the baby food. He started rice cereal and bananas as well and while he doesn't love them it is good practice for the oral motor skill. He is sitting well with support on the floor and enjoys playing "touchdown!" with his arms. Guess practice makes perfect! I don't think any of my other kids could do that at 5months, LOL! He has started to grow some hair and eyebrows and it is so cute in the morning when the little fuzz sticks up! :) Mike laughs at me when I get the brush out to "stimulate" growth. Can't hurt, right?

He is 14 lbs 5 ozs and 25 inches long. He will go next week to have his Synagis RSV shot and then we are "Dr. free" until end of November. YEAH!

Be blessed! Lara

A Miracle in the Making?

I am having a hard time catching up this week after being gone, so the post will be short today! Yesterday I heard back from Parker's cardiologist and we got the details on the "when" for his surgery. She had been consulting with the surgeon and they are in agreement that next SUMMER is the best time! Wow, talk about speechless! We discussed all of the things we originally were told could cause problems if we delayed surgery, but since all children with AV canal defects have variations there is not one "best" answer. In Parker's case his VSD hole is quite small so the concern of longterm damage to his pulmonary function is not there. In fact, Parker is completely asymptomatic. The surgeon believes that waiting will give Parker the best chance at his valve repair being done successfully so no additional surgeries are needed later in life (the mitral valve leaks in many of these repairs). Parker had an original echo done in the early weeks of his life, but the sedated echo was much more definitive. I talked to our pediatrician as well and he was in agreement that delaying the surgery is not unreasonable. One of the largest concerns with going forward now is the risk of infection and exposure Parker could have in the hospital as well. In fact, Texas Children's Hospital has implemented a "screening station" outside the hospital staffed by nurses and security and it requires you to be screened before entering. In addition they no longer allow children under 12 to visit siblings. All of these things coupled with the fact that they consider him to be an "elective" surgery candidate at this point gives us time to postpone the surgery. Mike and I have to defer to the experts here, who are we to doubt? The logistics of a summer surgery would be a bit easier with the kids out of school and no homework to keep up with as well. We will follow up with his cardiologist in early December, so we are relatively "free" of Dr's visits for awhile (at least heart Drs). Please continue to pray a hedge of protection around our house from illness and Parker's continued good health.

The surgeon was quick to say he would still need surgery, but we wonder is this a miracle in the making? Only God knows, but we consider this a small miracle if nothing else or as my precious friend Kris would say, "a kiss from God!"

Be blessed!

Surgery Postponed..stay tuned...insurance miracle!

We are back from our week long trip to Disney World and had a busy day at Texas Childrens Hospital! Today Parker had his sedated echo and then we met his surgeon, Dr. Charles Fraser for our consult. The echo went smoothly, it was much better than we could have ever imagined. The nurses were great and Parker didn't have any issues. He woke up after 30 minutes and despite being groggy for a few hours after he had no adverse reactions. Mike and I were surprised when Dr. Fraser reviewed his echo and recommended delaying surgery. He explained to us that Parker's condition is not considered an immediate need for repair and since his AV canal defect is quite small his pulmonary function is not being compromised at this time. In fact, Parker is completely symptom free and the Dr. said based on what he saw on the echo he was not surprised. By delaying the surgery a few months Parker's heart tissues will continue to grow and make then easier to work with for the surgeon and decrease the possibility for leakage in the mitral valve (which can cause additional future surgeries). He consulted with our Cardiologist and she agreed with his recommendation. Now we do have to consider flu season and the risks Parker faces from any viral infection, but at this point the Drs. believe it is worth the extra time. Mike and I left feeling confident that it is the right decision. We did not get a definitive date and are waiting for follow up with our Cardiologist for next steps.

So, we know that this timing is in God's hands and we continue to trust in Him. We do have significant praise..our insurance changed Oct 1st and now all of Parker's TCH physicians are covered in-network. In addition all deductibles and expenses paid this year apply to our out of pocket max on our new plan, so we are close to meeting that already. God is good all the time!

More later, but for now off to bed with the little one..Disney was terrific, so many magical memories!

Be blessed! Lara

4 months old and Flashes of Sadness

Today our precious boy is four months old...what a journey..we can see a bit of the trees through the fog I am happy to say..hard to believe he is 4 months old already. I see why people kept saying, "relax, enjoy him being a baby!" I am already feeling I am losing that stage as he is growing and developing. Here is a list of things Parker is doing (for me to remember to document) at 4 months:

-talking, talking, talking (alright so it isn't words, but..) he is anxious to participate in any socialization going on in the house

-responds to his sisters, brother, other family members and reacts to them with excitement, anger, you name it!

-rolls side to side on back and over (front to back)

-sits independently in his Bumbo for about 5 minutes or so

-making sounds, "ma..ba..ooh..uh..ahh"

-reaches out to hit or grasp toys (still working on up grabbing)

-tracks things side to side with eyes

-responds (and LOVES) music

-opens mouth for spoon feeding (so far no cereal, but we are practicing with the spoon at therapy)

-a giggle! just starting, but a quick "ha!" comes out when you tickle him, this is new and such an exciting one for Mom and Dad

-grabbing things hand to mouth..EVERYTHING goes in his mouth

-smiling and just being genuinely CUTE and endearing :)

"flashes of sadness" I read this on another bloggers post and it was such a great description of how I feel. I am mostly out of the dark place of tears, sorrow, and depression that encompassed my first weeks after his diagnosis, but these "flashes of sadness" are fast and furious. It is strange what sets them off. This week it was the person at the drive thru window that had some sort of disability that helped me. Instead of celebrating this young man's abilities and independence, I felt discouraged. It happens at the grocery store when the sacker that sacks my groceries has a disability. It happens when I am helping my 2nd grader with her spelling words (I panic and think, "will Parker be able to spell?" I know the answer is a resounding YES!!!). It happens at the most random times and to the most random things..I read about the Duggar family with #19 on the way and none has disabilities and I am brought to tears..it happened yesterday at the visit to the Down syndrome clinic..the speech path talked about her 18 year old sister that has DS going to a vocational college and the 60 year old visitor with DS that came from Germany (and he flew alone) that is amazing and speaking to educational groups across the world..I know this is normal, but can't wait until these moments are not so "fast and furious" and they too become a more distant memory. The other thing is I feel "sad about being sad." The blogger was so right, the "sad about being sad." Geez, I know better, but they are still my feelings. My precious husband is so gracious to love me unconditionally and he wisely said, "you have to get that crying out." So, at 4months I realize God is giving me the strength to take it one day at a time, but he's still working on me! What I do know is that when these flashes of sadness come, all I have to do is look at this precious boy and his smiling face and it all seems OK. I love you Parker, more than you will ever know...

Anticipating God's best!

He is With You

The Lord speaks to us in many ways..heard this song today on the radio at the perfect moment and it brought me to tears. Listen or read and enjoy, may you be blessed! Be sure to mute my playlist first before playing the link

He is With You by Mandisa

http://www.wayango.com/mandisa-he-is-with-you-track/

HE IS WITH YOU

There’s a time to live

And a time to die

There’s a time to laugh

And a time to cry

There’s a time for war

And a time for peace

There’s a hand to hold In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead

And you can’t even get out of bed

Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore

He is with you when your baby’s gone

And your house is still, And your heart’s a stone

Cryin’ God, what’d You do that for

He is with you

There’s a time for yes

And a time for no

There’s a time to be angry

And a time to let it go

There is a time to run

And a time to face it

There is love to see you

Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room

When the world is coming down on you

And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore

He is with you in the ICU

When the doctors don’t know what to do

And it scares you to the core

He is with you

We may weep for a time

But joy will come in the morning

The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown

When there’s too much space

And you feel alone

And you’re worried if you got it right or wrong

Yes He is with you

when you’ve given up on ever finding your true love

Someone who feels like home

He is with you

When nothing else is left

And you take your final breath

He is with you

PS, I couldn't pick just one photo today..can you tell Parker gets lots of love at bedtime?

October 21, 2009..6 weeks and 2 days...

Parker is scheduled for surgery! There is a story here, one I can only contribute to the power of prayer and our biggest ADVOCATE, the Lord God Almighty. Last week, the nurse from the surgeon's office called to give me November 17th as a surgery date. Let's just say that didn't sit well with me, but what was I to do? Gee, the world reknown surgeon has to work around "my" schedule...anyways, I reacted in my typical fashion (instant anxiety), but after a few phone calls I gave it to the Lord. At 4pm, we received a call back from the nurse with a "cancellation" for October 21st. Now, that is one day before Madeline's 6th birthday and Aunt Tammy's actual birthday. As she put it, "I can think of no better present than to have Parker's heart repaired!" We will celebrate Madeline's birthday the weekend before and we have Miley Cyrus tickets the week before too, so we pray that we can have a birthday that "hits it out of the park" even if her actual "birthday day" might be a bit of a disappointment.

We still have not talked to the kids about surgery, so please keep us in your prayers for that timing as well as the preparation for surgery. We will take Parker the morning of the 20th at 8am, he will have a series of tests and we will be admitted that evening. Surgery will be first thing on the 21st. More details to come after we meet the surgeon on the 5th of October for our consult.

This week my devotions have again been about worry, so as we face the future I am trying to "unlearn" my worry..did you know worry's root meaning is "to choke or strangle" go figure..let's see if I can loosen the grip..

"Worry is something you learn to do.There is no such thing as a “born worrier.” It is a learned response to life. You learned to worry from two sources:

1. You learned to worry from experience. After years of mistakes, failures, and unfulfilled expectations, you’ve discovered that things don’t always turn out right. Out of these experiences you formed the habit of worrying.

2. You learned to worry from examples. There are many models around you. Studies show that children usually pick up their parent’s worries. Anxious parents raise anxious kids.Since worry is a learned response to life, it can be unlearned!

The starting point for overcoming worry is to realize it is useless. It does you no good to worry. It is “stewing without doing.” Worry has never changed anything. Worry cannot change the past. Worry cannot control the future. Worry only makes you miserable today.Worry has never solved a problem, never paid a bill, and never cured an illness. It only paralyzes you so you can’t work on the solution. Worry is like racing a car when its engine is in neutral; it doesn’t get you anywhere, it just uses up gas.

The Bible teaches, “An anxious heart weighs a man down” (Proverbs 12:25 NIV). On top of that, worry exaggerates the problem. It plays on your imagination. Have you ever noticed that when you worry about a problem it gets bigger? Every time you repeat if over and over in your mind you tend to add details, amplifying it so you feel worse.What’s the solution? Instead of worrying, talk to God about what’s worrying you. He is someone who can do something about it."

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life” (Philippians 4:6–7 MSG).

PS the pic today is of Aunt Tammy and I at the hospital checking in for Parker's delivery :) and my 3D ultrasound that shows Parker fearfully and wonderfully made!

Be blessed! Lara

A Celebration!

Sunday was a time of great celebration in our house! All three of our oldest children were baptized showing their outward profession of faith that they are followers of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour! As parents Mike and I have a sense of security in their decisions knowing that no matter what life brings their eternal future is secured. We were humbled by the many numbers of people in the congregation standing to honor their relationship with our family. These people were Sunday school teachers, school teachers, AWANA teachers, Kids Choir teachers, friends, family, and relatives, all who have helped us shape and form Biblical values in our kids. I also thought of the people who had already joined the Lord in heaven that helped form these children. Their Great Grandma Dana was smiling from heaven and I could almost hear her voice joyfully praising their decisions. We anxiously await the day that Parker can make his own profession of faith and look forward to the day when we all will be healed and made perfect again!

Be blessed! Lara

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.Romans 10:8-10 (in Context) Romans 10 (Whole Chapter) For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."